Have We Been Looking in the Wrong Place? Finding the Important Link Between the Child and Learning.

By Kelly Hutton

Learning begins in the quiet space where a child feels safe enough to think, brave enough to try, and supported enough to grow.

We often talk about learning as if it starts with a lesson, the worksheet, the curriculum, the strategy. But if we really think about it, learning begins long before that — in the quiet space inside a child's mind, where they decide whether they are safe enough to think, brave enough to try, and supported enough to stay with something when it feels hard.

It’s the relationship with themselves that shapes every part of learning: how they handle mistakes, how they talk to themselves when they're stuck, how they regulate their frustrations, and how they trust their own thinking. Executive function skills grow from this inner relationship, not the other way around.

This week, I am exploring how we build on this relationship, and if we want children to learn well, we must nurture the internal foundations that make learning possible. Read on to explore this fascinating topic with me.

The Child’s Self-Concept and Motivation to Learn

Wigfield et al. (1991) and Bong & Clark (1999) were writing about this concept in the 90s, so it is not a new idea; the relationship between the self and the ability to learn is not a novel one. However, it seems to have been lost in the countless curriculum reviews and approaches to teaching that have consumed the educational sector in the past 20 years.

A child's self-concept — their beliefs about their own ability, competence and worth — plays a central role in shaping their motivation to learn. Literature consistently shows that self-concept acts as a psychological foundation for motivated behaviour, with Frade & Veiga (2017) describing it as “a foundation for all motivated behaviour.” They demonstrate that higher self-concept predicts stronger learning motivation, more adaptive goal-setting and greater engagement. Their review highlights that learners who believe their abilities can grow adopt learner-oriented goals and persist through challenges, whereas those with lower self-concept show avoidance and reduced motivation.

This relationship is reinforced across other studies: self-efficacy, an essential component of self-concept, is repeatedly identified as a strong predictor of motivation, persistence and academic performance (Cera, Mancini & Antonietti, 2013; Hwang & Oh, 2021; Sadi & Uyar, 2013). Students with higher self-efficacy regulate their learning more effectively, use deeper strategies to achieve higher learning, and maintain effort when tasks are difficult — all of which strengthen motivation. Together, this research is telling us that self-concept — the way we think about ourselves — actively drives how children interpret challenge, regulate effort and engage with their learning, and we cannot ignore this.

So What Does This Mean in the Classroom?

In the classroom, this research base makes one thing unmistakably clear: when a teacher strengthens a child's self-concept and self-efficacy, they are directly strengthening that child's capacity to learn, persist and engage.

Frade & Veiga (2017) show that self-concept shapes the goals learners adopt and the effort they invest, meaning that pupils who believe they are capable are more willing to attempt challenging tasks and less likely to withdraw if they struggle. In practice, this means that teachers should not just be teaching content — they should be constantly shaping the beliefs that determine whether a child can access that content.

This can be done by making sure that:

• Classroom routines normalise making mistakes.

• Teachers emphasise and champion the child when they show growth — not just when they get things right, but when they keep trying, attempt something new, work through frustration, or show courage.

• Strategy use is scaffolded, with explicit teaching and modelling of the thinking processes involved in tasks.

• Every small step of progress is celebrated over performance, helping children build self-belief.

• The environment avoids highlighting comparison, speed or correctness, which risks undermining the motivational systems that make learning possible.

The evidence is clear: supporting self-concept and self-efficacy is not an “extra” — it is core pedagogy.

Home Educators — Having the Edge

Home educators particularly have the edge when it comes to nurturing self-efficacy and self-concept because the very structure of home education allows children to relearn who they are as learners, outside the constraints of comparison, pace and performance-driven environments.

If a child is coming out of the education system into home education, deschooling becomes not a luxury but a priority, and the main curriculum focus should be on rebuilding self-efficacy and self-concept. Many children leaving the system already carry a diminished sense of competence, a fear of getting things wrong, or a belief that their ability is fixed — exactly the patterns identified by Frade & Veiga (2017) as barriers to motivation. The self-efficacy research is detailed: children will only engage when they feel capable, autonomous and safe to try, fail and try again.

Deschooling creates the psychological breathing space needed for this reset. In practice, this looks like slowing everything down, removing pressure to perform, and giving the child opportunities to experience success on their own terms — small wins, meaningful choices, tasks they can master, and learning that reconnects them with curiosity rather than compliance.

This will look like:

• Allowing them to explore subjects and content of their own interests with their own desired outcomes.

• Modelling strategies and guiding them to experiment with different ways of learning.

• Celebrating every effort — not with overpraise, but with genuine interest, opportunities to share their work, and consistent emotional support.

• Creating regular, adaptable routines that support and allow learning to happen naturally.

What it doesn’t look like:

• Set work or worksheets that mimic school lessons and don’t align with the child’s interests.

• Sitting around all day “doing nothing.”

• Rigid routines or curricula that feel like forcing the child to learn.

During this period, promoting self-concept becomes the core curriculum: rebuilding their belief in themselves as thinkers, problem-solvers, creators and learners. Once that foundation is restored, motivation, resilience and genuine learning follow naturally — and something more like a “school curriculum” can be reintroduced in time, aligned with the child or young person’s goals.

Final Thoughts

At the heart of all this is a simple truth: learning cannot flourish until the learner feels whole again. Whether this is in the classroom or at a kitchen table, whether guided by a teacher or a parent, the work begins not with lessons but with rebuilding the child's relationship with themselves. Often, this simply means being able to identify when a child is struggling with their self-concept.

When we centre self-concept and self-efficacy, we are not stepping away from learning; we are preparing the ground so learning can finally take root. For some children — especially those stepping out of the education system — this means slowing down, softening expectations and giving them space to remember that they are capable, curious and safe. For others, it means reshaping the environments they learn in so that effort is valued over performance, growth over perfection and autonomy over compliance.

Whatever this may look like, the message is always the same: when we nurture the inner world of the child, everything else — motivation, resilience, engagement and genuine learning — begins to rise. That’s where the real magic of learning happens.

If you want to read more about deschooling or the power of routines in home education, explore my previous blog posts, where I talk about this in more detail. Alternatively, feel free to contact me via the website for more support or guidance.

Enjoy the rest of your day,

Kelly @ Nurtured Together

References

Bong, M., & Clark, R. E. (1999). Comparison between self-concept and self-efficacy in academic motivation research. Educational psychologist, 34(3), 139-153.

Cera, R., Mancini, M., & Antonietti, A. (2013). Relationships between metacognition, self‑efficacy and self‑regulation in learning.

Frade, A. S. B. V., & Veiga, F. H. (2017). Student motivation and self-concept: Is there a connection? The European Proceedings of Social & Behavioural Sciences.

Hwang, Y., & Oh, J. (2021). The relationship between self‑directed learning and problem‑solving ability: The mediating role of academic self‑efficacy and self‑regulated learning among nursing students. International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, 18(4), 1738.

Sadi, O., & Uyar, M. (2013). The relationship between self‑efficacy, self‑regulated learning strategies and achievement: A path model. Journal of Baltic Science Education.

Wigfield, A., & Karpathian, M. (1991). Who am I and what can I do? Children's self-concepts and motivation in achievement situations. Educational psychologist, 26(3-4), 233-261.