Teaching with Tech, Parenting with Presence: Finding Balance in the Age of AI

By Kelly Hutton

Tech at home - where's the balance?

If you have every found yourself using ChatGPT to plan a lesson on fractions whilst your child calls for help with their shoes, I am sure you are not alone!

Technology has become so deeply woven into how we parent and educate, from Spelling Shed quizzes and Times Tables Rockstars tournaments to adaptive learning systems like Sparx Maths. These programmes make learning more engaging, more personalised, and in many ways, more efficient. But there is a quiet paradox hidden within them: the smarter the tools get, the easier it is to lose the human touch which makes learning meaningful.

Let's explore how we can teach with tech, without losing that connection.

When Help Becomes Hindrance: The Rise of the Algorithmic Forest

We live in what researchers call the algorithmic forest, a dense, interconnected web of digital systems quietly shaping what we see, learning, and even believe! Algorithms guide which lessons are suggested, as well as which ads appear beside them, and how long we can stay scrolling.

In education, these algorithms can be incredibly useful. Research shows that adaptive learning tools, like the systems behind Sparx Maths or Spelling Shed, analyse learners patterns and adjust tasks to match ability (Zhang & Aslan, 2021). This responsiveness can boost motivation and confidence, giving each child their own "learning path".

But as Ouyang & Jiao (2021) note, there's a risk of tipping from support into surveillance. When the data collected on learning habits becomes the main driver, children end up being taught to the algorithm, rather than through exploration and curiosity.

The algorithmic forest can be a helpful guide, but wander too deep, you might forget where the path began.

The Art of the Prompt

Moving on from the algorithmic systems of AI, there is the like of Chat bots, such as ChatGPT. Used widely, Chat bots transform home education, and are brilliant for generating lesson outlines, simplifying tricky topics, or creating resources in seconds, they can be invaluable. But these do rely solely on how we talk to them.

This is where prompting becomes an art.

Researchers studying AI in education (Yang et al, 2021) emphasise that learning systems are only as effective as the human direction they receive. The clearer, the instruction, the more relevant and helpful the output. In short: AI doesn't replace expertise - it amplifies it.

To prompt well, it is recommend that you:

• Front load your request: Include your child's age, ability, level, and interests (e.g. Explain fractions to a 9-year-old who loves pizza)

• State the purpose: Ask for a specific format ("Create a fun, 10-minute game to practise multiplication")

• Refine and review: Always read what AI gives you before using it, your judgement is what makes it meaningful.

It's not about getting a perfect answer, but about thinking alongside the machine. When you model curiosity and critical thinking, your child learns the same, which are skills that no algorithm can teach.

Idea Generation

AI can help spark creativity, especially for parents balancing multiple subjects (and in my case, usually multiple cups of tea!). A well-phrased prompt can generate project ideas, reading lists, or themed activity plans in seconds.

But here's the trick: Use AI for inspiration, not instruction. Research into AI-assisted learning (Cavalcanti et al., 2021) found that automatic feedback and content generation improved outcomes, students learned best however when teachers (and parents) added context, examples, and emotional support.

So let the Chat bots be your brainstorming partner, not your boss. You might ask:

"Give me 5 creative literacy activities for a 7-year-old who loves animals"

Then add your magic, maybe a real trip to the park to spot creatures, or a story built from the days adventures.

Turn your machine ideas into memorable experiences.

Technoference and the Case for Digital Detox

Now for the tricky bit, when technology is being too present.

Researcher, J. Glassman (2021) calls this technoference, it is the subtle interference of technology in everyday parent-child interactions. Think glancing at your phone mid-story time or checking a message while helping with spellings (and we have all done it!). It's not malicious, but is part of modern life. Repeated over time, it can reduce the emotional connection children depend upon for security and focus.

Children will notice when attention is fragmented. They might become more clingy, act out, or withdraw. Glassman's study found that reducing parental device use during playtime measurably improved children's emotional regulation and engagement.

A digital detox doesn't have to mean abandoning your technology altogether, just rebalancing it. Here are a few approaches:

• Set "off-screen" rituals: breakfast chats, afternoon walks, bedtimes stories - make them all phone-free zones when it matters.

• Teach with transparency: tell your child when you're using AI to plan something, this models mindful tech use.

• Schedule your scroll: respond to messages at set times, not in every quiet moment.

Presence is contagious, when you slow down, so do they and embedding these types of rules in the early days make a big impact for when your children become teenagers and get their own phones, which is why I would also recommend house rules for screened technology such as:

• No screens in the bedroom: Keep the bedroom a place of sanctuary where calm, sleep inducing activities such as quiet play and reading is done. This will improve bedtime routines and sleep quality.

• Make everyone charge their phones/screens in the same place: this allows you to have a central place to keep an eye on the screens your child is using and give you opportunity to create safety and security checks when needed.

• Practice what you preach: We are always our children's first role-models and that's why it is important that we demonstrate the behaviours with technology that we need our children to follow for healthy, happier lives.

Why Connection Still Matters Most

As the technology becomes extraordinary at teaching skills, it still cannot teach meaning.

Studies in human-centred AI (Yang et al, 2021) emphasises that emotional connection, empathy, and shared experience remains the most essential for motivation and learning. A machine can correct a spelling mistake, but it can't notice the proud smile when a child writes their first full sentence.

As Poquet et al (2021) remind us, lifelong learning is about adapting and transition, not just acquiring knowledge. Children (and adults) grow best when technology supports their learning, not directs it.

So use the tech. Enjoy it. Learn from it. But remember to look up from the screen more than once in while, because while AI can stimulate conversation, but only you can create it.

To summarise...

Teaching with tech is about balance, not avoidance.

Use AI to:

• Save time on planning and admin.

• Spark creativity and curiosity.

• Personalise learning for your child.

But balance it by:

• Staying emotionally present.

• Modelling mindful tech use.

• Choosing connection over convenience.

The best education still starts the same way it always has, with a curious mind, a listening ear, and a little time spent together.

References

• Zhang, K., & Aslan, A. B. (2021). AI technologies for education: Recent research and future directions. Computers and Education: Artificial Intelligence, 2(100025).

• Ouyang, F., & Jiao, P. (2021). Artificial intelligence in education: The three paradigms. Computers and Education: Artificial Intelligence, 2(100020).

• Cavalcanti, A. P., Barbosa, A. F., Freitas, F., & Araujo, R. (2021). Automatic feedback in online learning environments: A systematic literature review. Computers and Education: Artificial Intelligence, 2(100027).

• Yang, S. J. H., et al. (2021). Human-centered artificial intelligence in education: Seeing the invisible through the visible. Computers and Education: Artificial Intelligence, 2(100008).

• Glassman, J. (2021). Parents’ Perspectives on Using Artificial Intelligence to Reduce Technology Interference During Early Childhood. Computers and Education: Artificial Intelligence, 2(100042).

• Poquet, O., Kitto, K., Jovanovic, J., Dawson, S., & Siemens, G. (2021). Transitions through lifelong learning: Implications for learning analytics. Computers and Education: Artificial Intelligence, 2(100039).