The Power of Parenting: Why Every Parent is a Child's First Educator

By Kelly Hutton

Beginning the Learning Journey

From the moment a child is born, the learning journey begins. Whether we realise it or not, parents play an irreplaceable role in shaping their child's understanding of the world. Parents are a child's first and most consistent educators. The idea is more than a comforting sentiment; it is a reality supported by research across education, psychology, and philosophy.

Learning begins at home, and parents are not only the caregivers, but the role models, communicators, and guides that set children on the path to adulthood. Every day interactions such as storytelling, cooking, chatting or playing games help children to build up essential skills from language, reasoning, empathy and resilience. These early experiences create a foundation upon which all formal learning is built.

A key distinction drawn by educationalist theories like Rameakers and Suissa (2011) is between 'parenting' as a task and 'being a parent' as a deeply relational, value-laden experience. In their analysis, they caution against framing parenting solely as a set of technical skills to be perfected. Rather, they argue that parenting is inherently educational because it involves ethical questions about values, human development, and what it means to live well.

The Science and Philosophy of Parenting

The UK Government has long acknowledged the impact of parental involvement, and the Department for Education and Skills (DfES, 2006) identified that parenting in the home has a far greater impact on children's achievement than socioeconomic background or the parents' education levels. The Field Report (2010) echoes this by noting that positive, engaged parenting in the early years can "trump class background and parental income" when it comes to shaping children's life chances.

Yet Ramaekers and Suissa (2011) remind us that the parent-child relationship is not just about measurable outcomes. In their view, when parenting is reduced to a list of expert-recommended behaviours, we risk losing sight of its philosophical and emotional dimensions. What matters most is the quality of the relationship: conversations, shared meanings, and mutual understanding that grow over time.

Empowering Parents

Parenting isn't about perfection. It is about connection, curiosity, and care. While expert advice can be helpful, true empowerment comes when parents are encouraged to trust their instincts and reflect on what matters to them and their families.

What counts as "good parenting" is always shifting with society, but meaningful parenting begins when we act from our values, not passing trends.

A powerful illustration of this comes from a story shared by Dr Sunita Sah, from Cornell University, available to listen to on this week's "What's Up Docs?" podcast (available on BBC Sounds). She recalls a moment from her childhood that shaped her understanding of courage, defiance, and the subtle yet profound ways parents teach through their actions.

Growing up, Dr Sah observed her mother, an immigrant with limited English, as deeply compliant and service-oriented, always saying yes and doing everything for the family. But one day, while returning from town in bad weather, they took a shortcut through an area known for teenagers loitering. As they walked through, a group of boys began shouting at them to "go back to where you come from"

Young Sunita clung to her mother's arm in fear. Then, something unexpected happened. Her mother stopped. Clothed in her blue and green sari, with her plaited, she looked to the boys and said in broken English, "What do you mean?" Again, she asked, "What do you mean, go back to where I come from?". Her quiet defiance caught them off guard. The boys had no answer and slowly backed away, leaving them alone.

That moment stayed with Dr Sah forever. It wasn't about fluent speech or confrontation; it was about moral clarity and quiet strength. She described that memory as a moment of powerful education, not in a classroom, but on the street, through the courage and presence of a mother, who, in that moment, taught her daughter to stand up and question injustice.

Dr Sah would go on to study psychology and behavioural science, specialising in decision-making and the power of saying no. But that formative experience began, not in a textbook, but in a lived moment with her mother. It's a profound example of how the relationships we nurture and the values we model can deeply shape the character and courage of our children.

As Hardyment (2007) documents in their historical review of childcare advice literature, the definition of "good parenting" has shifted dramatically over time, often reflecting the broader cultural, economic or political values. Today, we must allow space for diverse parenting approaches that honour individuality, cultural identity, and family dynamics and respect the values that we hold.

All Parents are Educators - Not just Home Educators

While home education families embrace the role of educator more explicitly, every parent is an educator, regardless of where their child goes to school. From helping with homework to answering life's big questions, parents provide the emotional grounding and values framework children carry with them into the classrooms and beyond.

The goal, as Ramaekers and Suissa (2011) suggest, is not for parents to become quasi-teachers or experts in pedagogy. Instead, it's to cultivate a reflective, values-informed mindset that supports both the child's growth and the parents' development.

The Power of Parenthood

The power of parents as educators lies not in the mastery of techniques, but in the deep, evolving relationship they share with their child and our understanding of the values and morals we want to impart. By recognising and valuing this as our role as a parent, we can create a more inclusive and compassionate vision of what our children's education can be, one that begins at home and stays with us for life.

References:

• Ramaekers, S. & Suissa, J. (2011). Parents as ‘educators’: languages of education, pedagogy and ‘parenting’. Ethics and Education, 6(2), 197-212.

• Department for Education and Skills (DfES). (2006). Every Parent Matters. London: DfES.

• Field, F. (2010). The Foundation Years: Preventing poor children becoming poor adults.

• Hardyment, C. (2007). Dream Babies: Childcare advice from John Locke to Gina Ford. Frances Lincoln Publishers.